Further thoughts on "bad" parenting

I've blogged about this before, and to be honest I'm not sure that I have anything new to say on the subject. But it keeps coming up - people I love and respect keep referring to themselves as "bad" parents, and I keep ranting about it.

So here we are, today's edition of the "We're not bad parents!" rant. Prompted by a discussion in another online space, which you can read here if you want.

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I find we use this word a lot - not just here on the boards, but in real life as well, lots of people refer to themselves as "bad" parents. Or, I should be more specific - lots of WOMEN refer to themselves as bad parents. I don't think I've ever heard a man say that about himself.

The thing is, most of us really are not bad parents. Most of us are just muddling through, having good days and bad days, making mistakes, and second guessing ourselves, just like everybody else. And that doesn't make us bad parents, it just makes us...parents.

IMO, unless you are actively abusing or neglecting your child, there is no way you're a bad parent. You're doing your best, right? How can that be bad?

Also, would you ever say that about someone else, that she is a bad mother, just because she parents differently than you do? Again, with exceptions for active abuse and neglect - but just ordinary, run of the mill, everyday parenting. I bet you don't - most of us are a lot easier on other people, than we are on ourselves.

So I vote we stop being so judgemental of our own parenting styles, and stop being so hard on ourselves. Accept that we are all doing our best, and that we are all imperfect, both as parents and as human beings.

And that's all okay, there's nothing "bad" about it.

Some people claim that there's a woman to blame...

So there's this football match going on, with lots of countries playing, and apparently it's pretty important. So people get understandably upset when "their" team loses, or lets in an easy goal, or whatever. And the natural human tendency is to assign blame, to determine whose "fault" it is that that goal went in the net.

And apparently, in the case of England vs America on Monday, it's a woman's fault. It seems that the English goalkeeper was so upset about his recent breakup with his girlfriend, that he just couldn't keep his mind on the game. Obviously. It can't be his fault, he couldn't possibly have taken his eye off the ball for a split second, or it couldn't possibly have taken a funny turn, or hey, the shooter couldn't just have beat him, fair and square. Nope, it has to be the fault of a woman.

She probably has never played professional football in her life, and she certainly wasn't on the field at the time. And still, it's all her fault that that little tiny ball went in that big giant net that day.

Obviously.